Cognitive Therapy

(page 2 of 2)

Self Talk Although it sounds hard to believe, you can "talk yourself out of this" - not completely of course, and not right away. It takes a lot of practice, but it can be done. The experts use a lot of blah blah to describe this process which is basically quite simple. (one consultant even runs 'peak performance seminars' to teach positive self-talk)

The game works like this:

1. Pay attention to your negative self-talk. Notice when you hear yourself say things like, "the wings are about to break" - not too difficult to pinpoint the negative tone there! The first step in taking control of panic is recognizing those negative thought patterns. You obviously have to zero in on them before you can stop them. When do you usually have these thoughts? How long do they last? What do you usually obsess about? Any recurring themes?

2. Recognize that these negative talks are setting a process in motion that leads to panic and anxiety. These negative thoughts are sending your brain a message. "Danger Ahead!" By recognizing the beginning of these negative thoughts you can send your brain a different message, "False alarm!"

3. Recognize that anxiety and panic is unpleasant, uncomfortable but not deadly. It's okay to be nervous, tense or anxious. The goal is to handle the anxiety, not eliminate it.

4. Send yourself some positive messages. Whatever works for you, great. Once you get used to catching the negative thoughts and reminding yourself that IT IS ONLY A THOUGHT, you can substitute more positive messages. Some people have little mantras that they keep repeating - anything from 'I can do this' to 'Grow up, get a life" Some people are good at substituting mental imagery - remembering a relaxing scene, a time when they were successful at work, completion of an artistic or creative project.

5. Here's an example - "Uh, oh, I heard a noise (in reality the air conditioning was turned up). The engine is about to break, what if the electricity fails? What if the radar goes? They say planes glide, but I'm sure that's not true. Just my luck, that guy sitting in front of me is a terrorist. He looks suspicious. I'm sure the stewardess looks worried. She knows there is a problem with the plane and doesn't want to let on. Stop the world I want to get off!

"Get a grip on yourself, you're being ridiculous. Too many Bruce Willis movies. Your imagination is running out of control. You know planes make noises. You know turbulence is a comfort issue not a safety issue. You know you WILL land safely. Now go back to your book."

To summarize, don't you let your over-active imagination run out of control. Don't you let your negative thoughts trigger a full-blown anxiety attack. Nip it in the bud. Practice being nice to yourself. You wouldn't talk to your best friend (or probably even to your worst enemy) the way you talk to yourself.

Overcoming a fear of flying is sometimes a long (and unfortunately costly) process. Just talking nicely to yourself won't automatically make you want to get on the next flight to Hawaii. But remember, you can't conquer this fear with a one dose magic pill. Even if a technique works only 2%, that means you only have to find something else now for the remaining 98%. Just keep chipping away at the fear with a variety of techniques. Try them all. Nothing will work completely and most things will work a little bit. Those little bits add up.

Fly home | Back to the Articles | Corrections