Cognitive Therapy

By Dov Kaufmann

Overcoming your fear of flying will involve a bit of brain work (or to use some psych mumbo-jumbo "cognitive therapy"). Your core beliefs influence how you perceive certain situations and how you think, feel and behave. If you are phobic, you probably have some warped beliefs (or to put it in more clinical terms, "dysfunctional" beliefs). Dysfunctional beliefs such as "Bad things always happen to me" and "I'll never be able to overcome my fear of planes," will lead to a chain of negative thoughts. You CAN change how you think. You can turn these negative (and unrealistic) thoughts into positive messages. It won't happen overnight and you may need some extra help on this. But it is a process you can, and should start. How?

First, try and identify your core beliefs - your attitudes, self-image, and outlook on life. Sometimes we are not even aware of our own core beliefs. They just hover in front of you, sort of like the glasses you view the world through. If, for example, you think you are basically incompetent then you'll probably focus on those events and situations that confirm your belief. You'll assume that you CAN'T overcome certain challenges because you are stupid, wimpy, etc. You won't allow for the possibility that some situations are indeed difficult - for other folks as well - but that you can master them. You may have gotten so used to your critical, negative "self-talk" that you don't even realize you are doing it.

What are your thoughts that distort reality? That make you stressed out? That interfere with your ability to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE?

Second, put these beliefs to the test. Question their validity. Take a step back and analyze things. What evidence do you have (to support your theory about impending doom and disaster, your imminent failure, etc.)? Could there be alternative explanations? What is the most realistic outcome?

Third, question what you do with these beliefs. Are you thinking rationally or are your beliefs clouding reality? (If you go to a $200/ hr. therapist, you might learn that you need to "identify your cognitive distortions") Here, we prefer to call it "unrealistic thinking". Examples include:

Predicting catastrophe around every corner. You predict the future in the most negative terms without considering the more likely scenarios. Carol Gross, the wonderful director of "Fly Without Fear", calls fearful fliers people who always see the three D's - death, doom and destruction. She attributes it to our over-stimulated imaginations. We'll say to ourselves that " the plane will crash and even if it doesn't , I'll be so anxious that I'll have a panic attack."

Discounting positive scenarios. You know that statistics show that you'd have to take a flight every day for the next 27 million years before you'd be in a crash (and even then you'd have a 60% survival rate), but you STILL believe that the statistics don't really count FOR YOU. Your flight, of course, will be a disaster.

Magnifying the negative. You won't see a few seconds of bumps as clouds moving around, as perfectly normal changing air pressures, you'll see life-threatening danger, wind shear. You know that turbulence is a comfort issue and not a safety issue, but you don't believe it. You'll see a stewardess frowning (probably just saw a broken fingernail), but you'll believe she's terribly worried about the landing.

Over generalize. You'll say, because I was on one uncomfortable flight, all flights will be uncomfortable.

Feeling makes it true. You'll think something is true because you "feel" it. You'll ignore all evidence to the contrary. You'll know it will be a bad flight because you feel anxious.

Believing superstitions. You didn't get on the plane with your right foot, therefore it will be a bad flight. You didn't take your lucky charm with you. You saw a black cat on the way to the airport.

Any of these thinking patterns seem familiar? Fourth, now that you've done some major soul-searching and begin to see some negative patterns in your beliefs and thoughts you need to do some mental restructuring. How? Change your self talk (see section on self-talk below)

Fifth, in addition to the self-talk, some other techniques may be useful (especially during the flight). These techniques are distraction and refocusing. Distraction means just getting your mind away from the negative thoughts. If you can't change them, at least don't dwell on them. Stop imagining the downward spiral, instead play cards, scratch lotto cards, count backwards by 3, read Playboy. Whatever works.... (and is legal!)

You can also try some relaxation techniques. (More on those in relaxation section below) Other techniques for "thought-stopping" include snapping a rubber band as soon as you start the negative self-talk and substituting a more pleasurable image. (This requires a bit of practice, more details later)

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